The students are asked to write down sexual experiences in chronological order, using the black pen for those that were in their control (such as a first kiss) and the red pen for those that were not (such as getting their first period).The women are a flurry of activity, practically tripping over each other to scribble—"played doctor," "found a pubic hair," "menstruation," "kissed a boy," "kissed a girl," "touched by a cousin," "fell in love," "lost my virginity," "had an abortion," "had a baby," "breasts sagging," "menopause," "discovered sex without love." The men look on and appear intimidated."My husband of 13 years always accused me of being frigid because I never had an orgasm with him," she says."After we split up, I definitely learned I wasn't frigid. Which was fun." The women marvel that virtually all of them have had distressful sexual experiences.Finally, Eugene picks up a pen and writes down "first time had sex." The other men slowly begin to join in. Judith says the exercise made her realize that one huge thing she can't control about her sexuality is her fading looks. The women return her you're-out-of-your-mind look, so she explains: "When I was young, I'd see these older women and they just seemed as if they had confidence and were wise—and more comfortable in their skin. "I didn't get any mileage out of being cute when I was young.
But in 2005, Sylvie and her husband began struggling with infertility. "We were always trying to get pregnant." So she signed up, with the hope of refiling sex under "pleasure" instead of "work" in her brain.
Her students also discussed the parts of the body besides the genitals that are wired for sexual response—skin, lips, breasts, nipples, tongue, hands, brain.